I kid you not. This all happened today:
I came home from a business lunch and the dog was nowhere to be found. I had left her and Allison both at home and neither was home. I knew Allison was at work and Rosie was supposed to be home.
I looked for Rosie all over the house (last time she was locked in the closet) and she wasn't home. I saw that our front porch fence was open (no idea how it got that way). So I called Allison and she came home and then we spent 45 minutes looking for the dog in the neighborhood like maniacs. Luckily the garbage man had seen her with a family in a complex and so we could focus our yelling Rosie's name in just one neighborhood and minimized our chances of being arrested or beat up for making a ruckus. Eventually, after about 20 minutes of walking and yelling, a family heard us and came out saying they had our dog. Mission accomplished.
A little while later Allison said she was going back to work and left. A couple minutes later she came back asking whether she could take my car because her car had a flattish tire. From prior experience, I agreed with hesitancy.
Five hours later, Allison walked into our home and said: "Hi... Oh no! I left your car at work!" (out of habit, she walked home and didn't drive back).
She parked my car at her work garage with a day parking pass. I hope it's not towed in the morning, as the day pass expires at midnight.
I'm going to sleep now in fear of what else might happen if I don't.
UPDATE: Lauren later mentioned she pictured this story in The Onion with these headlines:
San Jose dog reunited with the family she wishes she had. "It was a glorious 45 minutes," choked Rosie.
San Jose dog breaks out of Japantown condo. Found boarding a bus back to Denton, TX. Where her owners seemed to have "left their minds."